If you have lived then you have liked, it’s just life’s rules of engagement. But for some guys the dating scene has become a painful process; mainly because most women don’t even know that they are turning a guy off. They only start to wonder after he stops calling, or when he starts acting uninterested after pursuing you like a fish out of water. Well ladies the guys have spoken and I have listened. For the sake of my fellow amigas, I compiled a short list of what I consider the top 5 turn-off’s for guys that you need to know pronto.
- Too clingy/desperate– I am going in for the gusto from the start on this one. Ladies we are dating not mommying our guys. Men by nature are not huge conversationalist so if you are a chatty chick and clingy you will be sure to win the record for the shortest relationships. Play it cool if you really are smitten by the new beau. Here are your rules ladies
- don’t answer every phone call when he calls. Let some go to voice mail and wait an hour or two before calling back.
- cut the date short before he ends it sometimes. Tell him you’ve had a long day or you have a busy day the next day and you want to turn in early.
- Follow the 90 day rule before allowing intimacy. You have a 90 day probationary period on your job before the company sees if you and them are a good fit, so why not use the same reasoning in a relationship? I’m just saying.
2. Always Talking about your Ex- Ladies your ex is your ex for a reason so why bring him and all of the problems that made him your ex into your relationship? Duh…if you find comparisons of your current to your ex then maybe you need to take a hiatus from relationships altogether and go see a therapist to discuss why you keep being attracted to the same type of guys.
3. Being too easy-This part is piggy backing off of my rules of engagement part from the being too clingy where I talked about the 90 day rule. Of course intimacy is a beautiful thing and it is very enjoyable (in most instances) but it isn’t intimacy if you haven’t established a relationship, it is just sex! Also watch the way you dress. Don’t dress too provocative if that’s not how you want him to view you. As Bey says in her one of songs: “A women should be a lady in the street and a freak in the you know what.”
4. Too Overbearing- Now on the flip side of the easies are the overbearing. Ladies you want to linger somewhere in between the two. Like I said earlier you are not his mommy. You don’t need a son you need a man. It kills me when I hear women refer to their mate as one of their kids. Unless you are a pedophile that is just “Goofy” (Thanks for the word Ashley) . He can make his own decisions, after all he was making them before you came along. Overbearing women can breed a resentful man and you don’t want that.
5. Gossiping- Let’s face it, women like to gossip. It’s an innate nature given to us from our mothers. We grew up with the play dates where the children played while the moms sat around and talked about all the single women in the neighborhood or the latest scandal. But for men this can be a turnoff. Even if there is truth to your claims, it can make you come across as a trouble maker, a pot stirrer. You don’t want him to mistake you for a bad person. You want him to see you as the good catch that you are.
I am so sure there are plenty more turn offs but these are the top issues that the men I spoke with have with us. I also confirmed it with my dad who is old school and he shared the same sentiments. I hope you find these pointers helpful. Happy dating.
Are any of you ladies guilty of any of these? Are there any men out there that have more to points to add?